I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
