Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
