Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
