she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So many bounce houses so little time
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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