Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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