So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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