GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
