I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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