I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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