Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
