A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
