I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize