Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
