I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
