I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
