we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
