This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
