Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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