Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
