everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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