rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
