I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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