found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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