Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
