youre lurking in front of me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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