so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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