Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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