whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think people are normalizing furries
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
