yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
