i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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