Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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