Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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