my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
