So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
