He kissed a someone with a penis
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
