Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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