I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
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He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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