Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
