Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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