God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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