Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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