Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
