kristin has been a bad kristin
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
