Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?