remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?