I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You ruined the universe
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.