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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?

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