Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped