Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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