He is an equal opportunity slut.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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