some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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