Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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