dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
