i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
