I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
