hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
