I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
