ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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