The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
