so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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