Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
