That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
