apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
