Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dicks are not precious.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize